It’s a matter of the heart. When families begin to understand that you care about their children they themselves begin to feel cared for. So we, as teachers, must grow to care about each and every child. If we do not care about our students then we have already lost our families. Why would a parent want to connect to a teacher who either openly or subtly dislikes their child? I ask you to put yourself in their place. I ask that you do whatever inner work necessary to build love and compassion for each one of your students no matter how difficult they may be and no matter how many you have. Yes, this is deep, serious, and difficult. But it must be part of the teaching and learning process.
I hear from many teachers that it is difficult to care about certain children, that some children are unlikeable. This grieves me. Perhaps we dislike the behavior of a student but the student’s behavior is not the student. Sadly, so many forget to keep the label separated from the child and have children designated as “favorites.” I hear, “But it’s normal to have favorites. That’s just human nature.” I do not accept this dangerous belief that divides students against students. We have a duty to view each and every one of our students with eyes of compassion, eyes that look beyond labels, culture, socio-economic status, and, yes, beyond behavior. We have the duty to, indeed, see a positive, healthy vision for this student and set up respectful classroom environments that support this vision.
How will families know that you care? They will know because you:
· Smile when you see them.
· Respect their knowledge by asking for suggestions and insight about their child
· Write consistent notes with positive news about their child
· Translate all written material, workshop information, etc. into their first language
· Send appropriate homework that exhibits that you have taken the time to teach the homework concepts
· Give appropriate notice and sufficient guidance for long term projects so as not to add stress to family
· Make regular phone calls (even in middle school and high school) to report on progress
· Arrange workshops at various times to allow for different work schedules and younger siblings
Finally, I ask that you have compassion for your families. Perhaps, they do things that you totally disagree. Perhaps these behaviors negatively influence their children’s progress. Perhaps, you’re right. But remember, parents love their children and do the best they can with what they know and what they have. Show compassion and treat their children the way that you would want your own treated. (see Zaragoza, N. (2007) for more detail.)
