Creative Curriculum Connections

 

So it’s another first day of school and you’re praying that your little Johnny’s teacher this year will not twist your stomach in knots like Mrs. Marone did last year. You’re determined not to allow her to completely control your emotions at pick-up time. I know the feeling! It got so bad with my youngest son that I use to send in my eldest to pick him up so as not to face the teacher’s usual comments: he kept calling out; he kept getting out of his seat; he pulled Katie’s hair. 

Let me give you some quick and dirty tips to get in good with your child’s teacher right from the start! First of all, let go of all your previous negative school experiences. Remember, the beginning of the year is a perfect time to make a fresh start and see things from a different perspective. Be proactive! Instead of waiting for the teacher to write you a letter, make a phone call, or a comment you can write an introductory letter to let him/her know a little bit about you and your child. Keep it friendly and appreciative making sure you point out some of your child’s unique strengths. For example, the letter might start like this:

Dear Mrs. Carroll,

I am looking forward to working with you this year and I am confident that my son will have a successful year with you. My son Michael is excited about being in your class as well because you had his cousin Nathan last year and he knows how much you love Science! I’d like to tell you a little about Michael and our family…

            Be natural, share where you work, what Michael likes to do, what you and your family do together and so on. Keep it short but make sure you close by offering to support him/her in anyway you can like, “Please let me know how I might be able to help you and the class throughout the year. Even though I work full time, with enough notice I can often rearrange my schedule- so feel free to ask!”

            Let me tell you as a classroom teacher I really loved to get positive notes from families. We all like to feel connected and appreciated, right? Don’t you feel great when you get a thank you note or positive letter? I definitely do. 

            This type of communication will be a first step to setting a foundation of respect that will help if things get a little stressful because of homework, behavior issues, etc. In fact, it would be a good thing to ask the teacher right up front which form of communication she or he prefers. I’m sure you know how it feels when someone swarms you at 5 or 6 after a long day of work—so tired you could spit. A teacher usually feels the same way at around 3:30 so to bombard her with concerns at this time might be counter-productive. I prefer email because I can take the time to think about it and write when I am not tired or emotionally charged about a negative classroom situation. As a parent and teacher I use a composition notebook-one of those sturdy black and white ones that will last all year-that I call a “Communication Notebook”. Each child in my class carries this communication notebook in their backpack so the parent and teacher can communicate through this at any time. It is extremely important to ensure that notes in this book carry positive messages along with concerns. If every note focuses in on negative criticisms or comments that same stomach knot we are trying to prevent will raise its ugly, hard head.   So if your child’s teacher does not use this type of system you can request its use with your child. Your complimentary, appreciative comments, for example, “Oh, Michael told me how much he enjoyed the Science experiment you did with the class! He came home so excited! Have a great evening,” will set the pattern. If by some chance the teacher only writes negative reports in the book you can politely and honestly respond with something like, “I do understand your concerns, Mrs. Marone, and I am following through with your suggestion about turning off the TV. Would you please also let me know about some of Michael’s positive behaviors-this will help me stay encouraged. Thanks. Have a good evening.”

Do you see that your response will actually respectfully push Mrs. Marone to also look at Michael through a positive lens. Remember one, two or three sentences for each entry goes a long way. Words carry power and sometimes fewer words carry the most.

            As I already mentioned at the beginning of this podcast, I know exactly how it feels when a teacher confronts a parent at the end of an exhausting day. It’s difficult to bite one’s tongue at these times but let’s try and look toward the rest of the year. Is it worth it to speak angry words that might make it difficult to maintain a productive teacher-parent relationship? So what can we do to avoid such situations? Well, besides sending someone else to pick up my son I’ve also tried some other ways. I learned not to be afraid to set boundaries by saying something like: “I’d prefer we speak about this tomorrow. I will be happy to set up a short meeting or telephone conversation.” Or “I understand your concern and agree we need to discuss this more fully when my son is not present.” Or “Would you do me a favor and write out exactly your concerns and suggestions to improve the situation?” Careful with your tone of voice and body language! No matter how polite the words if your tone and presence connotes negativity the words will not be heard.

            Remember, Parents, you can ask for suggestions. In fact, as professionals teachers need to develop a plan of action that enables your child’s classroom success. They, too, have the expertise to help you with trying and following through with some home strategies. When you take their suggestions and let them know how it’s going (the communication notebook is great for this, too) it shows you respect their expertise and, again, continues to build a positive, professional relationship.

        I hope this helps you get in good with your child’s teacher right from the start! Don’t worry and
have fun connecting!!